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Relationship are Like Bank Accounts

If I took a peek at your bank statement, what type of activity would I observe? Are you making more deposits or more withdrawals?

There are different types of bank accounts. A checking account is made for everyday financial transactions. A savings account is used for safekeeping long term. When you have the need to pay for something, you simply make a withdrawal from either account. This action is only possible once you have deposited the money into the account. If you happen to empty your account and head to the bank to make a withdrawal, it’s a guarantee that you will not get anything from that account. I can simplify the workings of a great relationship by comparing it to a bank account. Let’s call it the “love” account.

It is important to know what you desire from your love account. To ensure a healthy relationship, it is vital to understand your emotional needs. Love accounts differ from bank accounts in the sense that they are unpredictable. There is no guarantee what you are going to receive in return. However, one thing is sure, not putting anything in guarantees that you will not get anything of value in return. That which you wish to receive is the very thing you will need to offer. Remember, checks and balances aren’t created equal in the love account. Because love is an action word, love is built on reciprocity: giving/serving the other, as well as having an open heart to receive offerings in return.

You get to choose how wealthy your relationship will be when you deposit with purpose and withdraw with appreciation.

The first step to establish a love account is that you must be interested in establishing one. The next step is to be ready to make deposits into the account without placing any demands on the deposit being any larger than the amount you placed in it. Over time, the wealth and value of the love account will expand if you tend to it - the same way money compounds with interest.

Tending to your relationship entails learning what is a “deposit” and a “withdrawal” to you mate. A deposit for me in a relationship is to honor the fact that I am a morning person and I settle down for sleep around 9 pm. I am fine with music playing, the tv turned up a bit or even loud talking on the phone, until it is time for me to pull the sheets over my shoulders. Turning the volume down or using your headsets are deposits into the love account. The opposite of that would be someone who is a night owl and doesn’t thaw out easily in the morning. Having a full blown conversation with them after waking up would be a withdrawal for them. Another example: imagine a couple going out for drinks. One of them likes to take a drink to settle down from the busy day and minimize the brain’s activity. Whereas the other gets a few drinks in them and cranks right up to having a motor mouth with lots of energy and engagement. They would do well to have a conversation about their needs and the love account.

When we consider relationships as bank accounts, we can get a better understanding of how to nurture our mate and develop deeper connections. You get to choose how wealthy your relationship will be when you deposit with purpose and withdraw with appreciation.

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